The Biking Viking... on PNN

The Biking Viking...

Posted by CMOR Posted on: 06/20/08

The Biking Viking...

He was a true Norseman... At nearly seven feet tall, his presence was enough to overshadow the most intimidating of souls, and his long blonde hair only seemed to emphasize the 'Thor in his flesh...' He was truly staggering face-to-face, though like any inhumanly proportioned individual, he was as good-natured as a teddy bear...

Rune was his name, and I am so accustomed to irony in life that the poignant significance almost flew right past me... Because he pronounced his name, "Rhoo-Nay!!!" and I must place exclamation punctuation after everything he said, for this is how I remember his manner of speaking... Everything was big and friendly and boisterous!!!

Runes are symbols of language, of power, much like the hieroglyphs of ancient Egypt and Sanskrit in India... Let's call runes the 'alphabet of mystery', as I know not-much and maybe never will... Still, a man by the same name would register on my awareness radar for even this reason, let alone for the fact that he was (and still is) bicycling around the world...

I first met him when visiting a friend of mine... I was approaching the front porch of my friend's house, which has 3 apartment units inside... Right before I rang the bell, the front door opened and out walked the most impressive long haired Thor I have ever seen... He was followed by a reporter and camera crew... It was quite a production, to see my meditative little world suddenly be in the middle of an interview...

I hung about in the background, simply wondering what could be so phenomenally interesting about this man... A bit later the television crew had left, and I heard his tale... He had been biking for 9 months prior to arriving in Seattle... He came up through South America, and across the United States... Many a story was glossed over due to the climactic crapola which greeted him in Fremont...

He has merely stopped at the nearby corner store for some juice, and while inside his pannier was invaded and robbed... Someone had absconded his passport and wallet with $500, and cute photos of his family back in Norway... My friend's neighbor took him into her home and called the local paper and TV stations... They were suddenly all over it in their seeming desperation to find real 'human interest' stories...

The word went out It spread like a California suburb fire... He got several newspaper stories about him, and no less than 4 television stories aired... During the time he stayed in Seattle to wait for his passport he became a minor celebrity... Because of proximity to my friend I got to be close enough to befriend him without getting caught up in all the media hype... Rune was very casual with the entire affair... He had a boyish demeanor that simply couldn't be conquered by the loss of some special or expensive papers...

The first time we were hanging out, I offered to show him an alternate side of Seattle... To give him a taste of what others might disdain or avoid altogether... I knew he'd biked alone all that way, so had an idea that he was up for anything... I told him to call anytime and I would show him the 'Seedy UnderBelly' of Seattle... And when I said it I had no idea exactly what I would be showing him, but I have a funny way of attracting the strange and half-ass miraculous... I said it with no doubt in my mind that we'd find more than a day's fun, if only we put ourselves out there...

Time went on, and a month later I had only seen him one time... He had locked himself out of his benefactor's house, and called the only number on his person, the one on my card which I had given him... I was volunteering at the food bank that day, so I arrived with a special bag for him with hardy grubs for his food-furnace... He was happy to see me, though I could tell he was getting antsy to be biking again... His life was filling up with guest appearances and shaking hands while receiving various donations... His benefactor was extremely good at setting up a way for him to be sponsored and receive kindness for his cause...

But he needed a diversion... I will never forget the way he said it... "I shtill vont to shee dah Ooondar Bailey"... It was classic, and highly impressive because he knew several languages... "Oooondar Bailey" had lodged in his brain like a romantic notion of something he wasn't getting being a public figure... So we set up a time to explore the Sheeedeee Ooondar Bailey...

I had to bring my truck on the day we went hiking through the city... He had a lot of gear that REI had donated to him, and he needed to exchange it all for a tent that would stand up against the deadly Canadian winter... That was his next destination, and that crazy Rune did eventually leave Seattle at about the perfect time to get his ass frostbitten for life... But maybe crossing desolate winter wastelands with nothing but a bike and a few nerves are what it means to be from northern Europe... I grew up with a Swedish step-dad, and he's a wacky one as well... So we stashed the super tent in the truck and walked into the Ooondar Bailey...

I had to let go of the idea of providing his entertainment... He and I were similar in the notion that life happens all the time, and one need not LOOK for it but only stay aware... Of course, for him this also meant stopping at several pubs along the way... It was hilarious how people would notice his presence, and by the time they figured out that he was the guy from the news story, they were giving him free beer and a smile... He didn't appear to take advantage of them, though he NEVER refused a good microbrew...

We ended up in Pioneer Square, with all the shoppers and homeless sideshow stoppers... He became a mini-happening wherever we went, so we went off the beaten path while trekking back across town... I think it was him who discovered the trail along the interstate freeway, while on one of several public potty breaks... We hopped a fence and began walking a cute little foot path that paralleled I-5... This was totally new for me... I always try to find what's to be found, turn it upside down and shake it till there's pocket change on the cround... But I never knew that one could walk this unique route...

I soon realized why... Before long we were quite the object of another sort of voyeurism, for we were in the sleeping quarters of many of the destitute and forlorn... Suddenly there were hammocks and large cardboard shelters, the homes of urban campers and liquid food stampers... Some folk were milling about, watching us, but obviously in no mood to do more... Maybe it was good to have a huge Norseman at my side, if only to alleviate my irrational fears... Those people wouldn't have hurt me unless I begged them to... And Rune was completely at ease... I remember when he found a bent pair of sunglasses on the ground and put them on for a moment... He looked like Elton John after a fight with a plastic surgeon...

More miles and many beers later, Rune finally had seen enough Ooondar Bailey... We returned to the safety of his benefactor, and I went about my life... I saw him once or twice more before he left, most notably on his farewell party... I discovered then that he has a twin brother who is the same in stature and behavior... God, what a pair! I think back on all the great norsemen whom I have read about, conquering or discovering, and seeing Rune and his identical twin confirmed the truth behind the history (His twin brother sails around the world... Viking Sailor...)

I lost touch with the Viking Biker over the last couple years, and today I googled him to find a photo or three... What a pleasant surprise to read that not only did he survive the Canadian wilderness at god-knows-below-zero temperatures, he is now in Africa doing more of the same... I get the impression he never stopped biking... Probably there will be some cool documentary someday about this lovable fellow, though I guess he would only watch it from the seat of his bike...

Statistics from Rune's blog...

13 countries
3 continents
112 flat tires
17 tires
2 wheels changed
8 chains
6 chain rings
3 pairs of pedals
4 air pumps
2 seats
1 time robbed
1 time attacked
4 crashes
3 different sets of bags
3 times at the hospital for my ass
2 front rack changed
4900 M is the highest I've been (16,076 feet)
-50 celsius was my coldest day (-58 F)
41 celsius is the warmest day (106 F)
3 donations on my paypal