Doing Harmony...

Living at the crossroads has been both beautiful and rough... The real estate is plentiful, but the cost is one's soul, and every moment is spent paying, albeit paying attention... I mention this because I have lived in expectation or idealistic hopes of attaining my golden carrot, or record contract, for nearly three years now... And it's not always just boyish fantasies and wishful thinking... I swear, there are moments when the heavens open up and it's a sure thing... So my dwelling at these crossroads has me seeing all that and letting it go... Not quite pushing it away, but certainly not chasing it like one chases the dragon or chase manhattan...

It's all about destiny... A big realization for me recently was that I am destined to live right NOW... It was colossal, in that each moment is exponentially rewarding when I allow no single thing to crowd out its magic... I used to get nearly there and then say, for example, "And it'll just be even sweeter when I have that record contract!!"... To the degree that I am distracted by adhering to what I want, that is how not-free I am at any time... Also, at this juncture a recording contract seems an awful lot like a job, and one that would likely leave me in debt for eternity... Because you have to actually sell the songs in order to make any dollars!! And I find it tough to even give them away... Heh heh...

The bottom line is that every day which passes tells me that my music is meant to be free... Like shareware, or share where? My entire lexicon is loaded with concepts of free thinking, quixotic quizdom, and unconditional malarkey... Even back in 2006 I wrote and produced the song, 'Zen Bootleg...' which sums up accurately my approach to the industry... I have so far never made a dollar of music, unless you count busking with my drums and another hippy on guitar or a washtub bass... Not that I would refuse money for creative output, but to seek it in a 'Look at Me!' way feels intuitively like asking the IRS to pay me taxes... Er, maybe not so much?

Here are the lyrics to said song, 'Zen Bootleg...' so that we have a reference point in our one-sided discussion... (Hopefully my writing inspires more questions than answers, and more thinking than security...)

 

Please be informed that the following,

In no way represents wallowing...

In the wheeling and dealing of stealing...

Ahhhh... But borrowing is appealing...

If such an event has occurred,

Stay calm Please be assured...

We copy what we appreciate...

So burn the dinner plate... 

It's obvious you never read the Holy Blog!

Mp3 gonna be the new wheel in the cog...

Since we all got download, go lie down, ya sleeping dog...

Don't cry because ya can't get higher on the hog!!!

Be the bootleg Do ya copy?  Be the bootleg Do ya copy?

Please be advised that loyalties,

Can only enthrone more royalties...

The radio king's last broadcast,

The single surpassed by a podcast...

We copy what we appreciate, so burn the dinner plate...

With a grain of salt and battery,

Piracy is the sincerest form of flattery...

The collective consciousness ain't proprietory...

You extinguished the spark when you trademarked your territory...

Eardrums, come from under the thumbs of all that inventory!

We'll stop the pop monopoly, and topple Old Glory!

Do ya duplicate? Better get download

Click here to hear!!!

So I guess I was taking on the music industry in a combative way... And guess what?  Like any rich but lonely child, I was thoroughly ignored... In one way that has been such a blessing, for I feel free to write whatever I want to... I have learned the hard way, to only say it if I need to... The music biz, like any other dollar-diving entity, is not evil unto itself... It has culminated over many generations into near government sized proportions, but it has also discovered and deepened all those very cherished artists that make up the core of popular culture... I probably only resented it because I was the one on the outside... Yet now I know, this is a great view for a writer...

I make these strong statements in case I do get sucked into the machine... If I became a household name, I beg for real people to school me quick on what it means to stay authentic... I feel that if I lost that element of my being, then nothing I would have to say would be worth hearing... I'd be just another trained monkey looking for a scooby snack... Rowrrrf!!

Overall, I want the music to be free... Or at least I want MY wacky, ill-produced demos to be free... I do spend a great amount of time creating them, although I know that I WOULD BE DOING THAT ANYWAY!!! I also have realized that some folk simply do not like my music, heh heh... They can listen, but they can't hear CMOR... I have many friends who will plainly admit that certain songs of mine bother the hell out of them... Jeez, some of these tracks even bother ME!!! That's what I get for writing from different moods with a healing pen and then allowing the music to sort of 'have its way with me'... Some of the ear trauma is simply my not knowing musical engineering and audio production... The other element is that I am often perfectly happy using, for example, a baboon mating scream that has been pitched down 3 octaves to sound like a bagpipe being used as Mel Gibson's ass-warmer...

And I stay friends with my critics... I might eventually get to ask what they experience upon listening, in order to refine the true essence of said song... A housemate of mine recently described my music in general as, 'one big sideshow stopper' to which I smiled and rose to full intention (lovin' on him)... Luckily I have been learning not to take life so personally, or even make assumptions... I let it go, and a couple weeks later found him coming to me, asking politely to hear a song... As he took the time to see me and hear me, he then mentioned that he would just like to hear what I would sound like without all the vocal rigmarole... It was a definitely a crossroads moment, for abiding at those crossing points teaches me that I haven't any strict rules and regulations... He became my teacher, and my heart grew like the grinch... That's how life is making me whole again... I activate entirely new sectors of my unused brain by allowing many diverse influences to play with me...

          And so I burn, baby, burn, baby, burn!! I wouldn't steal your music, nor would I seek others to put their name on my efforts... But I have joked before that if someone did rip off my labors, I would just concoct more... I really feel there's no stopping me now... I may grow and change, adapting many perspectives as I pick up my crossroads and follow life... I love irony and paradox, for it's a poetic way of seeing the divine amidst our wacky hell on earth... Therefore I am absolutely fine with contradicting myself, though I would do my best to explain myself if someone asked lovingly... To really discover the depths of human potential that this human can grasp in one lifetime, it really all boils down to one question?  How do we keep his body alive, yet free enough to float in the breeze and write about it?  Such is life at the crossroads...